We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
