Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
