the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Rumble strips road head = magical
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
