i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
