what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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