Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
