Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
