And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
