Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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