Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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