WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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