Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
