Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
