I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
