Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize