Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
