and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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