Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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