M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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