I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
