Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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