but the lizard people decide everything anyway
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
