that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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