Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
