so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize