forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
