You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize