No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
