When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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