Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
