wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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