i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
