i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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