I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
