i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
