Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
