Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
you never un-have a 4some
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
