I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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