Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
