I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
