Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
