you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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