I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
