areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize