it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
