yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
