the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
