Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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