If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
