i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
