Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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