please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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