what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
