First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
