There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
