no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
