Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
