would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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