This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
