what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
