I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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