Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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