Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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