I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
There's a naked man in my car right now.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
