Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
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