Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
