May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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