Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
handjob tips. give me some.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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