The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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